Erase me

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thoughts of moving on and staying flicker in my mind
what does it matter if I go for a few months or stay for a life?
the same things happen, with new people...
what is your will, my Lord?

My weapons are at your disposal,
to fight what every you may call me to,
to defend your daughters and sons
to call the prodigal back to your arms

though I am dulled, I am willing...
weak, but able.

I yearn to be a man after Your own heart...
an apostle for you in this day
a servant ready to answer your call
a slave unworthy of my own life

I yearn to be the man that does not exist,
a man people never see
never talk of
never discuss

I yearn to be so transparent that no one wants to call me holy,
but yearn to know You because of my presence.

I yearn to be nothing so much so that you are able to be everything

my weapons are dulled, though I am willing
I am weak, but still able.

command me to Your desire
lead me to Your plan
drive me to Your service.

there is nothing more that I want
than to be Yours wholly and perfectly
I yearn to live a life that is guided every moment
by the fire of Your Spirit.

I yearn to be nothing,
that others can be healed
that others can recieve your grace
that others can see miracles
that others can evangelise in tongues they've never learned
that others can teach things that no man could devise
that others can lead in ways completely in accord with You
that others can recieve mountain moving faith
that others can speak of things to come and things that are
that others can see the battles of good and evil and build the community.

I yearn for nothing...
I yearn for Your will to engulf me in a flame so bright that I am consumed,
and all that remains are the flames of Your Spirit...
I desire that not even the soot and ash that I am
should be allowed to exist.

I want that a Saint should exist, where I do now.
And I know that means "I" must cease.
Erase me, and draw a Beautiful One.