rambles

so far behind
each moment getting further...
I'm so distracted, so busy
so so so...

maybe I should quit my job...
should take it easy
should excell at school
instead of mediocrity everywhere.

what's Your will?
what do You want?

some people want me to "prove" myself
but proof they've never believed
some want me to remain for their sakes
but what about my sanity?

why don't You make it apparent?
why don't You tell me?
why don't You speak so eloquently
that I can't deny
your plan?

You've told me before not to trust friends...
better advice I've never known...
but it only helps when I have you're ear
and when you have mine.

I don't have time right now for Adoration!
I really don't, I wish, wish wish wish wish wish I did...
but I'm swamped in a mess of my own making

how can I find you?
I'm even losing myself.