Lurking.

emptiness
the vacuum of self pity
the fulfillment of ego...
why can't i feel whole...
why cant I be
the person I used to
why can't I tap the grace
from the day I first believed
why cant I be
is it all me?
am I worthless?
the thing staring at me from a mirror of my own making?
the vile creature that spits and hisses...
that cries inside.
that yells at silence to stop
that wrestles with stillness
that taints my thoughts with my desires?
why could God not make me sinless?
why do I fight
tearing falling
sleeping failing
ripping gnawing
tripping scaling
trembling
of myself...
my creation.
my Sin.
me.