decisions undecided

what's my mind doing?
my hands and arms?
my desperation
craving comfort

wanting freedom
holding my desire
craving comfort

can I really have it?
can I really be that?
what does she want?
are the cards laid bare?
or is this an illusion

what sweet words
just let go be free
yet the gravity
grabs me
and turns my head
spinning

is it so simple?
yes…
is it so easy?
no.
am I ready to be me?

what have I to lose
but my last few years
or my next

gain?
peace of mind
or some semblance

do I have to decide now?
can’t I hold on
a bit longer?